hope.Thursday, December 17, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
observation of a top bloke...
sampling.
have you ever watched people sample food? i did so recently on a trip to the farmer's markets and remarkably my friend jess commented just a week later on exactly what i had noticed.
humans generally approach sampling in the same pattern, like breathing: they look inquisitively at the goods, (pause) then at each other, they sample (pause pause) they furrow their brows, look again at each other (pause) and remark respectfully with varying 'hmmm's, they nod their heads appreciatively and almost look surprised that the sample tastes good. (of course it tastes good, that's why it's on sample... and like all dukkahs and pestos don't taste the same anyway..but moving on), following the appreciative nod they hesitate as if it to purchase, (pause) place down the toothpick/cup/olive seed, slowly turn and hastily disappear as if they were never there (get the eff out of there).
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
unfunny bumper sticker
what? how can you compare a leisure activity to a method of transport? As fun as it is golf won't get you to from A to B. your car will. And if you hate driving so much how do you get to the golf course jack ass? Pogo stick?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
why not...
wear socks with sandals. it's a great way to turn your summer scuffs into winter warmers. when affordable meets fashionable.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
how about the time...
my two buds coom and raph dressed up as sea turtles and had a day at the beach swimming, reclining in the sun and jumping on the backs of highly alarmed and fearful japanese tourists.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
unfunny bumper sticker
Magic Happens!
Quick pass my wand. I’m casting a spell to make you shave your pits, stop wearing crushed velvet and realise mythology won’t change your life.
Quick pass my wand. I’m casting a spell to make you shave your pits, stop wearing crushed velvet and realise mythology won’t change your life.
Monday, November 9, 2009
how about the time...
my friend and i sold fake raffle tickets around the neighbourhood and bought confectionary with the profits.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
unfunny bumper sticker #2
Mum's taxi.
gotta love a mum for trying. but seriously maybe if you got out of your maroon tarago and socialised with people who were old enough to vote or shave you'd realise there is nothing funny about living vicariously through children.
why not...
dress your kids in matching outfits.
it's a great way to show that deep down you don't value their individuality quite nearly as much as a two for one bargain.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
unfunny bumper sticker #1
As funny as this is i highly doubt it to be true, firstly, because your current car is pre-1980 with a rusting red, blue or yellow paint job and probably worth less than an expensive panini. Secondly, BMW's target demographic generally don't use their automotive vehicles as a comedic tool (take note) and finally, even if I were to believe that you own a European car (though choose not to drive it) it would still be cheapened by your desire to decorate it like a child's excercise pad.
a little bit about me...
I’m 22 years old and can’t remember what I did yesterday. Do I have amnesia? Is my life too mundane to remember? The answer to both is a resounding no. I’m proud to say I’ve reached a point in my young life where I have done nearly too many amazing things, met too many truly unique people and found myself in too many bizarre, embarrassing and utterly hilarious situations to remember. This blog isn’t intended to be funny, offensive, self indulgent or pretentious. It is simply a catalogue of my thoughts, stories and observations so that when I’m old and have as many friends left as I do teeth I can look back and say to my grandkids ‘how about the time…’
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